Nancy Kerrigan and Me

Does anyone remember her?

She was the skater that got her kneecaps bludgeoned by Tonya Harding's hit man so that she would be unable to compete against her. Crazy, soap opera crap.

At the time, you thought... "Oh my! That poor girl! This is the worst thing to happen to women's figure skating since Peggy Fleming started hawking feminine hygiene products!"

And it was. Totally spiteful. Just a bad, bad thing.

And then, you saw the tape of her reaction...

"Why, why, why?!?!?!" she whined and cried.

"WHY?!?!??!?!"

and you thought, "why couldn't they have hit her in the mouth?"

Just for a second.

Not that you thought she deserved it, because no one deserves to be hurt like that...but, you just wished she'd been a bit more graceful about the whole thing.

Anyway...

I didn't get the stupid job. I wanted it, I thought. Now, 22 hours later, I am realizing it was for the best. Though, I could really use the money...really, really use the money...it would have been a strain in so many other ways.

But, for a few hours, I could feel Nancy Kerrigan's pain.

"Why? Why? Why didn't they want me? What's wrong with ME?!?!?", I cried.

Then, I realized. It wasn't meant to be. And I don't mean that in some kind of mystical way. Just in the way that somewhere, down inside, I knew that it wasn't the right thing and it showed somehow.

I can blame shortsighted leadership; for they are that. But, really when it comes down to it, I just didn't wow them like I should have.

It's okay.

There will be other things. BETTER THINGS. And I will be able to see them because I will be open.

The whining ends here.