I was watching cartoons with the kids this morning and it occurred to me that every toy (doll, game, etc) that is marketed towards girls is about how well said doll or virtual doll is dressed.
Since when did 5 and 6 year olds become obsessed with fashion?
Since the marketing machine decided they would, that's when.
Not having girls, I am not entirely sure if it has worked. I have overheard one parent of a young girl talking about how their four year old won't wear certain things to preschool anymore, since some other girls made fun of her.
Ummm, excuse me for a moment while I thank my lucky stars that I have all boys. Mmm...okay.
Now. They are four!!!
To be fair, the girl in my example is the precocious type, dramatic and all that. But, seriously... "Mom, I can't wear the Mary Janes anymore, they make my ankles look fat...and pink, well, that's just for babies"???
At four???
The worst was a commercial for Dora the Explorer. Apparently, Dora has grown into quite the hot little number who now can change her eye color and handbag with just the click of a mouse!
Wait, what???!!!
Dora was never into fashion!!! Dora was an explorer!!! She got dirty! She had a sensible tomboy haircut!!!
Now it's "Oooh, Boots, should I wear the green contacts or the blue? and does this backpack clash with my nailpolish?"
Why do we want little girls to be tiny, bubble headed, plastic whores?
I read a stat somewhere that said only 3% of women polled considered shopping to be fun and relaxing.
I apparently fall into the 3% on the other end that would rather get my teeth drilled while listening to cats mate or Ted Nugent talk about bow hunting.
The rest of us probably fall into the middle. We like to hang out with friends, will occasionally window shop, but mostly, we just shop when we have something in mind.
I wonder, then, why advertisers don't get it. Wouldn't they want to portray women the way they actually are? I mean, for the most part, they've got men down to a tee...
big trucks and erectile dysfunction.
Isn't that what men are all about?
Oh, and beer.
I'm kidding, of course.
Men also like boobs.
Seriously, does this stuff actually work? I think that I am more unlikely to shop somewhere / buy that product / drink that beer when their advertisers talk to me like a Barbie doll.
Or maybe, most people don't think about it as much as I do.
I tend to overanalyze things.
One more thing and I'll wrap it up.
This has nothing to do with advertising, but, it does have to do with one very large boob.
A guy comes knocking on our door the other day to tell us, and I quote "I'm not here to make any trouble, but your son just scratched my car".
Now, any sentence starting with " I'm not here to make any trouble" means the exact opposite of that. You desperately want to make trouble. You love making mountains out of molehills and, deep down inside you feel helplessly inadequate.
Oh, and you have a small penis.
You have such a small penis, in fact that you will start a fight over...drumroll...
Gasp! A superficial scratch on your 2001 Chrysler LeBaron that may or may not have been there when you left the house this morning, douchebag.
This guy had the nerve to get in my face about it.
He says that while looking through my neighbors window, he clearly saw my son scratch his fender with his bike as he went by.
The scratch is on the opposite side of the car from the window, so clearly, this DB has x-ray vision.
When my wonderfully patient and former Marine husband came to the door, he wasn't buying any of it, but, he calmly explained to DB Smallpenis that, in looking at my son's bike there didn't seem to be any paint that didn't belong there. Oh and also, go take a hike.
DB was back for round two today.
This time, my beautiful husband said "Sue me, you petty asshole".
And there you have it.
Now, if I had seen my son do this, or even suspected that he did, I would have walked over there, apologized and offered to fix it. I am not trying to get over on anyone.
But, don't come at me accusing my kid of something that at worst was a little accident and at best never even happened!
That is my rant for the day.
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